Heartwork: My Divorce Journey & Resources for Healing

I never thought I’d be divorced. I grew up with parents whose love story felt written in the stars, and I believed mine would follow the same path. But life had other plans. My divorce in Oregon was one of the most painful chapters of my life—emotionally, financially, and as a parent. It shook the foundation of everything I thought I knew and forced me to rebuild from the ground up.

Heartwork is the personal side of my work as a Portland divorce real estate agent. Here, I share more about my journey, the lessons I learned, and the resources that helped me heal along the way. Divorce isn’t just a legal or financial process—it’s an emotional one. And while the logistics matter, so does your heart, your peace of mind, and your ability to imagine a new beginning. -Beth Nelsen, licensed Oregon Real Estate Broker.

Handwritten note on lined paper taped to a wall with four pieces of tape, containing an encouraging message about resilience and hope.

I wrote this very early in my process and posted it on my wall to remind me. It stayed there for just over 2 years. My affirmations have “graduated,” but if you are just beginning your divorce journey, I encourage you to write your own and remind yourself: You are doing a good job. Great, in fact.

Text-based image description of my words of affirmation:

“No, it’s not right, but you will be ok.”

Savor (kids’ names blocked out for privacy). Life will go fast.

This is all temporary.

Cry when you need to — your ancestors will hold you.

You are doing a good job. Great, in fact.

Remember who you are. You are so resilient. And incredibly blessed.

Exercise. Stretch. Breathe.

Your life is unfolding as it should.

You are so held — you are and always have been, a child of the universe.

See your wonderful life, your children are by your side. Go get your life.

Go get your life.”
Person relaxing on a paddleboard on a lake with a forested shoreline and a snow-capped mountain in the background.

Summer 2025 on the lake. For years, life felt so hard. Not anymore. You will get here too.

Our family is Tewa, Native to New Mexico. Song is healing in Native culture. My cousin had sent this recording of the Women’s Warrior song to me the morning I was on my way to the courthouse in 2024 and now I offer it to you.

Books

Here are a few book recommendations that I’ve found helpful or that have been widely recommended by divorce professionals and clients I’ve worked with. And if you have the strength to go and support your local bookstore, I say a walk around the neighborhood bookstore also feeds the soul.

💛 Amicable Divorce & Collaboration

  • Conscious Uncoupling – Katherine Woodward Thomas

  • The Co-Parenting Handbook – Karen Bonnell

  • Mom’s House, Dad’s House – Isolina Ricci

🔥 High-Conflict & Narcissistic Divorce

  • Splitting – Bill Eddy & Randi Kreger

  • Divorcing a Narcissist – Tina Swithin

  • Will I Ever Be Free of You? – Karyl McBride

🌟 Books to Feed Your Soul

  • Untamed – Glennon Doyle

  • You Can Heal Your Heart – Louise Hay

  • Getting Past Your Breakup – Susan J. Elliott

📌 Supporting local bookstores helps communities and keeps independent booksellers thriving, while also nourishing your heart and mind.

One thing I learned quickly is that no two divorces are the same. Some people are able to work together with their former partner and prioritize cooperation. Others, like me, face an adversarial or even high-conflict divorce, where communication feels impossible. No matter your situation, the right resources can help you feel less alone and more equipped to move forward.